The following poem is a collection of community stories gathered in order to end the stigma around incarceration and re-entry. Our hope is that by highlighting the personal experiences of these individuals we may open hearts, minds and eyes to see people who have been incarcerated for what they are…people!
“I felt a sense of motivation since the hardest part was that I had been away from my kids for so long.”
“Coming home was so hard because I knew I had to face my mom’s disappointment.”
“I was ready to be free but I didn’t feel like I was free because I still had probation, a reminder that I could go back at any time.”
“For so long I was unable to make decisions for myself and now it seemed like a test. My husband was there waiting for me and I was afraid to go to him [thinking] I would be in trouble.”
“How was I gonna manage the next few hours? I had so many things to do to get my probation started in such a short period of time.”
“How to prove myself. I didn’t know how much things were going to change after I got arrested.
“Staying out of jail and taking care of my family [was the first thing on my mind].”
“I wasn't sure it was real. I was afraid, [with] only so much time to check in or they would send me back. I just kept thinking, I can’t go back, I can't go back!”
“I had to show proof that I was looking for a full-time job while managing 80 hours of community service, 4 drug tests, counseling twice a week, which included additional drug tests and over $600 in fees on top of everything.”
“I was [paying to] bounce around from couch to couch depending on how people felt that month. Even though I had a job it was so hard with nowhere to lay my head at night.”
“I lost my job behind a charge. It was twice as hard to find another job because I couldn't use [the old job] as a reference.”
“I have a business. I am talented at the work I do but as a small business owner with a felony it is so hard getting funding and building trust with clients and other community [members].”
“I had a little support from a friend who would make sure I got to probation check-in on time but after that I would be stuck.”
“[It was] Me myself and I. The probation officer acted like I didn't have a care in the world because on paper I didn't have bills. He didn't want to hear that I had to pay to live. I could barely afford [getting] to and from work let alone eating. I still had to pay them fees though!”
“[I had] no support really. My partner had her kids to take care of and she needed me to support her so it was all on me to support everybody.”
“Most of my family and friends turned their backs on me. I met my husband when I was going through trial and he and his family were there for me through my sentence. They teach me to accept myself and remember that I am not just a mistake!”
“I received counseling services that did not help but added pressure on me. I was arrested on a drug charge and admitted my struggle with addiction. When I failed a drug test with them instead of offering me assistance they got me violated.”
“When you have a record on paper you are a criminal no matter what or who you are in real life. You get treated like less than nothing by everyone who knows you got arrested, including your own family. I don't know if there is therapy out there for that but I couldn't find it.”
“I reached out to a program that promised counseling and resources. When I would ask for more help I could tell the lady was annoyed with me. She would never get back to me with the information I needed. It seemed like she didn't want to waste her time with me. Probably would have done her a favor by going back to jail, less paperwork. That is how a lot of these social services leave people feeling.”
“Probation required me to have counseling but honestly the counselors did not help, the pastors did with their nurturing care and guidance.”
“I knew the road ahead would require me to work hard but I still never gave up and just coped the best way I could.”
“Everything I got I had to work hard and pay for.”
“I’m still tryna cope with everything. It’s impossible but that's what they expect people to do. I am still affected by my charges everyday.”
“My determination to help people like me who made a mistake and are asking for a hand up, that is what gets me through a stressful day.”