Love and Trauma: How we move through the world

By Kenjee Roker

Links Not Locks is a campaign focusing on the intersection between mental health crises and incarceration. I've seen time and time again that when folx are in crisis, they are met with force and stigma instead of the help and community support they need.

Last year, my life was filled with what seemed like a never-ending crisis triggered by a series of car accidents. After the first car accident, I was physically and emotionally wrecked. After the second, I was financially wrecked. And after the third, I was homeless. 

My childhood was rough. Prior to these car accidents, I had spent three years healing and growing from my trauma. I pushed and dragged my body forward just to survive. All the work I had done made the fall that much harder. When in a crisis, life is scary. The walls are closing in and crumbling at the same time. 

The links and connections I made were the things to heal me and help me get back on my feet. I found safety and comfort in my friends and community I fostered over the years. These were the people who came to my aid. During my eviction, a dear friend of mine rallied folx to help cushion the blow financially. My community opened their hearts and homes to me. 

I wish I could say that everything is fine now. But that is not how trauma works. I will likely carry it with me for a long while. My loving community, however, helps stem the impact of my past trauma. They ground me and guide me through difficult times. Community builds resilience. 

Trauma and love in our lives serve as major guideposts for our actions, values, and coping mechanisms. They often dictate our trajectory in life - especially in times of crisis. It's not uncommon for people in crisis to revert to what seems like erratic behavior when, in fact, it is a trauma response. Unfortunately, all too often, these cries for help are met with stigma and punitive action. I was lucky enough not to have been incarcerated at one of my lowest moments, but I can’t say the same for so many other folx. 

In our campaign Links Not Locks, we envision a community that doesn’t use incarceration as the answer to public health issues, but instead connects people to mental, behavioral, and cultural resources that are rooted in the community. Our approach to addressing these issues will be two pronged: (1) Expanding programming for mental health and pre-arrest diversion in the community and (2) reducing stigma about mental health and substance use. 

As you reflect on my story, let me leave you with some questions to ask yourself: What wounds would guide your reaction to a crisis today? What would the reaction be of your community to your crisis? Would it be stigma? Would they call the cops? Or would they come to your aid?